Never News: A Halloween Haunting

[The exterior of a large Victorian mansion sat against an ink black sky. As you walk up the gravel path, you're flanked by dozens of lit Jack-o-lanterns, their faces ghoulish and grinning as they watch you pass.

Approaching the house, you see standing next to the great wooden doors the towering mass of what appears to be the 12 foot tall Home Depot skeleton. But the closer you get, the more unsettled you become, though you can't discern why. Staring at the skeleton's enormous, pale skull, you could almost swear that its head tilts ever so slightly in your direction...

But before you can investigate further, a flash of motion out of the corner of your eye. From a second floor window, you see a dark mass emerge and begin to - what? Yes, crawl down the house, spider-like and inhuman in its speed. The creature skitters down toward the entryway, leaping off the wall and landing on two feet. It glides noiselessly to the front of the house, revealing itself beneath the pendant lamp on the landing...]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!! You didn't even say "trick or treat"! But that's okay, I've got a huge bowl of mini bags of Nerds gummy clusters, take as many as you'd like.

Welcome back to Never News, the every-two-weekly newsletter that I, Producer Georgia, write for you little ghoulies. Today's the best day of the year, and also the end of the most exciting and socially exhausting month on my calendar. The veil has been lifted, the worlds of the living and the dead will mingle, and I have to hand out candy to little kiddos in my neighborhood! But before that, of course, I must bring you the thing you crave: THE STILL-BEATING HEART OF A MAN! Jk, it's the news.

Some Internet aperitifs...

In spooky but fun news, the joy of the "mundane Halloween" trend in Japan. In spooky but sad news, the tragic end to the Bed-Stuy aquarium :(. Also, some focusing tips for the Internet-addled brain. ICYMI: the content-generating machine of the Timothée Chalamet lookalike contest. Jeff Bezos (enormous chorus of booing) blocked the Washington Post's endorsement of Kamala Harris for President, leading to hundreds of thousands of subscribers ending their support of the paper. And speaking of Jeffy Beez, that clown of a man, Amazon claims it has the right to union bust...per the First Amendment.

And now, for the main courses...

WIRED: Medium is overrun with AI slop, and its CEO doesn't care

I am loathe to bring you more news about the prevalence of AI-made garbage on the Internet, but unfortunately...here we are. As this article in Wired shows, the blogging platform Medium is positively chock-full of the stuff: nearly 50% of new content made via the site is likely AI-generated, a number that is truly unimaginable to me. But what's worse — and why I pulled this article for you — is that Medium's CEO Tony Stubblebine doesn't think it matters. In his mind, so long as nobody reads it, what's the problem? May I be the first to say a big ole YIKES at such a cavalier attitude for something that, as we're seeing, is becoming (and will continue to be) a problem all over the Internet.

SHOW NEWS: THE MAILBAG COMETH

I bring to you today a haunting warning of what it yet to come in the Never Post feed - a mailbag chronicling the submissions, questions, and comments from listeners about episodes from yore! OoooOooOoo!! I refuse to give away too many salacious details but know that there will be discussion of segments including news memes, hashtags, a return of guest producer Victoria Dominguez, and, most crucial of all...Garfies. No! I shan't say more! Get thee hence!

THE ATLANTIC: Give yourself over to the joy of being forgotten

If you listened to last week's episode of the pod, you'll know that I've been thinking a lot about online privacy — what it looks like, how it's misunderstood, and what's needed to achieve it. This article from The Atlantic offers a fascinating take on this topic, offering the idea that maybe, just maybe, it might be nice to let ourselves disappear into the ether. "Sharing" online is something we often do without thinking about it — that's certainly true for me — and this piece poses the idea that obscurity can provide a kind of freedom.

TEEN VOGUE: The ups and down of being a teen TikTok star

To anyone who has been on the Internet for a while, the concern that social media might be detrimental to teens isn't exactly the most jaw-dropping notion. But here, TikTok takes center stage, as writer Fortesa Latifi examines the odd life of a teenage influencer on that platform. While the piece does concern itself in part with broader, societal worries, it also zooms in on the teen girls for whom TikTok influencing is a business and a burden. It's strange, for example, to come to school and have your classmates taunt the way you say "hi guys!" in the video you just posted that same morning. But it can also provide a kind of lens to re-imagine your high school experience, especially if the real life version of events wasn't always viral-worthy. As always, things remain complicated.

And thus, we come to the end of the Halloween installment of Never News. Next time I'll see you, it will be well into November, and my dark powers will have depleted such that I am but the shallow husk of the woman I once was. But it's nothing that a few ancient rituals won't cure. Nevertheless, we press on!

Before I turn into a bat and take to the skies, I'll bring you this, one of my favorite TikTok Halloween costume trends back for its second year: