Never News: Get out of my room!!

[Lit only by the ghostly haze of the moon, you see the mist-covered silhouette of a centuries-old graveyard. Passing through the wrought iron gate, you can clearly hear the wet chrk and slap of a shovel plunging into the earth. Someone is digging.

And sure enough, at the base of a willow tree, you see the gaping maw of what is unmistakably a fresh grave. Soil flies out of the hole, landing on a growing mound on the grass. Terrified, you can't help but approach. But before you can peek down, the figure within tosses the shovel up and out — it lands with a dull thud. And who's that woman, clamoring out of the grave, wiping the dirt from her long, lacy sleeves...?]

What's up dudes? Welcome back to Never News, the biweekly newsletter that I, Producer Georgia, write for you on behalf of all of us at Never Post. We are BACK from Portland and the joy that was XOXO Fest, bright eyed and bushy tailed to bring you more audio delights!! If we saw you there, hello again! If not, don't fret — we always have the digital embrace of the Internet to keep us together in cyberspace.

And now, some bite-sized news items for you...

In wholesome news, a delightful TikTok trend emerges: stick nation. Tumblr decides to make what I can only imagine is going to be its most exhausting and nightmarish decision to-date. Also, the latest in evidence that algorithms are indeed of the Devil. The newest replacement for dating apps is...Google Forms? (Imagine me saying this in the most exhausted, dejected voice possible) Apparently...NATO...is brat. And, finally, we all now need to worry about "dead butt syndrome."

Now, for the main courses...

THE CUT: Helicopter parents reign supreme in the dorm decor sector of Facebook

I've been thinking a lot about the teen bedroom recently, and how we decorate our spaces now that we are also documenting those spaces so much for an online audience. So, as you can imagine, it felt like this piece in The Cut arrived at my digital doorstep at the perfect time. In the article, Kathryn Jezer-Morton explores a corner of the Internet (specifically on Facebook) where moms breathlessly discuss the many intricate, detailed ways they've decorated the dorm rooms of their recently fled-from-the-nest kids. There's a lot here about helicopter parenting, on control over and access to your children, on letting go of your babies when they're no longer babies, but it's also a uniquely modern lens through which to look at these things and more.

SHOW NEWS: Extended segments, and POSTS THAT CHANGED YOUR LIFE!

And WHAT did I tell you last time? As I solemnly promised, we have not one but deux extended segments for you from our #NewsMemes episode. Listen to a longer cut of Hans's conversation with Lia Haberman about the state (and death?) of the hashtag in online communication, and an extended cut of my conversation with Whitney Phillips about how we find out about news events through memes. ALSO! We want to hear from YOU about posts that changed your life — whether they be tweets, tumblr posts, IG stories, whatever it is, we want to know about what posts have affected you in major ways. Send us a voice note via airtable, leave us a voicemail at 651-615-5007, or write us an email at theneverpost@gmail.com

THE GUARDIAN: Sarah Koenig on the state of podcasting

Regardless of how you feel about Sarah Koenig, Serial, NPR, or what have you, this is a helpful moment of insight into the fraught and complicated state of the podcasting industry as it currently stands. It's obviously a subject we care about a lot, and Koenig does a deft job of pointing to the dangers of a very saturated market on the people who make audio content. If nothing else, it's a surprising comfort to know that even she — one of the people largely responsible for creating the modern industry of podcasting — feels the strain of that pressure, too.

THE NEW YORKER: Arresting Telegram's CEO raises questions about platforms and privacy

(Note: this article discusses child sexual abuse)

The conversations surrounding the arrest of Telegram CEO Pavel Durov aren't entirely new — there are similar talking points here to those being made about TikTok and the U.S. Government's promise to muzzle (or all-out ban) the app in this country. And like the discussion of TikTok, there are questions surrounding whether any country can, or should, have the power to ban a social platform over the ever-vague concern over "privacy." But the case of Telegram is...complicated, to say the least. Durov's arrest isn't just about security, it's also about his (alleged) implicit role in illegal activity on the platform — activity that, for the sake of remaining delicate, is extremely brutal stuff. This piece of news offers an interesting and complicating element of the larger topic of privacy on social media, and what ought to be done about it.

And thus we come to the end of this installment of Never News. We're swiftly approaching my favorite season, and I feel my dark powers growing stronger every day! More on that later, surely. For now, the dying gasp of summer still remains, so don thy sunscreen, squeeze in another day at the beach, and enjoy the unique pleasure of eating a hot dog outside one last time. Ta ta!

One last thing: this year's transition from summer to fall, captured musically. Enjoy!