Never News: We're Back Baby!!!

[It's a cold, gray day, though not chilly enough to deter you from an afternoon walk across the grounds of this gothic estate. You've crossed through the woods, the vegetable patch, and finally the gardens, where you were flanked by the pupil-less, silent gaze of a long line of marble statues.

Though now, as you cross a small field flanked by trees, you notice a mound of freshly tilled dirt, around 3 1/2 by 8 feet: a newly covered grave.

But there, sticking out of the ground, is a small, pale hand. It waves at you, as if it knew you were coming. The closer you get, the more frantic the waving becomes. Then, the hand starts opening and closing, inviting you to grasp it. Without thinking, you do, and start to pull.

With some difficulty you drag out...you guessed it...]

Hyyyyyeeelllooooooo everybody! Wow, it's been a while, huh? I hope everyone had a restful holiday, and a gentle start to this new, bizarre year. In case you forgot, I, of course, remain Producer Georgia, here to bring you Never News, the every-two-weekly newsletter from the Never Post desk directly to your feed. I've got a mix of show news (!!!) and Internet news for you. Now, shall we begin?

Some Internet aperitifs...

Spite becomes the last battle cry for U.S. TikTok users, enter: Xiaohongshu, AKA "Little Red Book" AKA "Red Note." Marky Zuck, arguably the most prolific "pick me" to ever exist, has announced even more rollbacks on post moderation on Meta. But in response, a growing wave of users have sworn off any and all Meta apps. Elsewhere, a very good essay asks a very relevant question: what the fuck are we doing anymore? I swear there is an article about someone who has an AI boyfriend every couple of months, so here's the latest. And, just as I was writing this, the legend David Lynch passed away. The obits are still rolling out, so in lieu of that I'll offer you one of his weather reports, which I watched religiously every day.

And now, for the main courses...

404 MEDIA: PIXELFED as the latest anti-Meta landing page

This article isn't especially long, but I think it's the perfect tone-setting piece for something I think we will continue to see a lot throughout the discourse surrounding the TikTok ban. Beyond the very heavily publicized mass migration of TikTok users to the Chinese app Red Note, Pixelfed offers an Instagram-adjacent-enough option for people who want to scrap the entire Meta suite of apps entirely. But, of course, Meta doesn't like that, and has flagged ANY link to Pixelfed as "spam," which instantly removes the link from Meta-owned platforms. I am certain that we are going to see so much of this kind of user-versus-Zuck dynamic in the months to come — this is just the start.

SHOW NEWS: State of the podcast feat. many surprises!!

Wonderful news, dear listeners of Never Post! In your feeds we have a treat for you: a state of the podcast roundtable with Mike, Hans, and Jason, where they discuss the findings of our end of 2024 audience survey, the future of the show, !!!AND!!! some very exciting updates to our membership tiers and how you can support the show in new and thrilling ways in 2025. So what the hell are you even doing? Pop in your earbuds of choice and LISTEN!!

THE NEW YORKER: Being anti-social media...until TikTOk

In light of our recent episode about leaving social media platforms, I bring you this piece from The New Yorker, in which its writer, a self-proclaimed "offline" person, traverses the algorithmic labyrinth of TikTok. This is timely in obvious ways, as it seems abundantly clear that the platform is doomed to be banned in the U.S., but it's also an interesting examination of the push and pull between the desire for something "interesting and relatively undemanding to occupy [one's] time" and the fear of getting lost in the maze.

DAZED: (with great exhaustion)...there's a new dating app

You'll forgive me if I still dip my toes into the dating apps beat every so often, and here I bring you a new and...interesting take on the concept. Allow me to introduce you to Breeze, a dating app "for real dates." How does Breeze accomplish this? By refusing to let its users chat on the app. Instead, after matching with someone, you're instantly prompted to see your match's availability, and choose a location to meet. In theory, this is meant to combat common issues that can crop up on the apps: ghosting, being digital pen pals with someone who never actually makes plans, or sometimes both. I see the merit here, but as always I remain skeptical.

And now, we've reached the end of the first installment of Never News for 2025. What a strange and intense experience this year has already proven itself to be! I can't say whether or not things will get better, worse, or both, but I can at least tell you that we will be here with you throughout whatever may come. As Lynch would say, I wish you beautiful blue skies and golden sunshine. Everyone, have a great day. Stay safe, stay cool, and see ya next time.

In what will almost certainly be my last TikTok offering at the end of the newsletter, I offer you this, which I've already saved to my phone. Whenever you think "huh, I wonder what Georgia looks like when she's working away on Never News?" I hope you imagine only this.